MILESTONES

There are two very important things in Hong Kong – family and food – and they are inextricably linked.

Family is everything here – showing love and respect to your parents and peers is rooted deeply in the culture. Milestones such as birthdays and weddings – and even your first hundred days of being alive – is cause for a celebration. And celebrations call for either mountains of gifts or mountains of food. Or both.

A couple of days after arriving here, we took the bus to Causeway Bay for my sister-in-law's father's birthday meal in a restaurant. It's an honour to be included in such things and it means, in turn, that they respect you and see you as part of the family.

There is a great emphasis placed on the importance of family here, and it is drummed into children from a very young age. Whereas in the West, where we have leaned more to the individualistic approach, in the East, life seems to be a much more collaborative effort. Kudos is placed in familial connections, as it is in education, but we'll return to that in the near future.

It is no surprise then that family occasions are often a good time to indulge in the other great love of eating out. There are hundreds and hundreds of eateries in Hong Kong, and it's for a very good reason.

Forget the Westernised idea of a Chinese meal. It's like calling a McDonald's Happy Meal distinctly British just because there are thousands of outlets across the land. (They're here as well, along with KFC and Starbucks). The quality is far superior and infinetly more varied than the ersatz sugar bombs we get in the West. There's also a big difference in how they're eaten.

Eating is a communal affair, be it with family or friends. Everything ordered is placed in the middle of the table (sometimes on a large lazy Susan) and everyone is encouraged to help themselves from a bit of each dish. However, there are separate chopsticks and spoons for the food in the centre that must remain with their dishes so you're not using the ones you've put in your mouth.

Each person has their own bowl or little plate to eat from, in which to put the rice or noodles and whatever takes your fancy – the fresh veg, the local fish, pork, beef, salmon, sweet and savoury dumplings... and even sweet bean soup.

If it's a special occasion, meals can go on for some time, so if you're visiting and you have been invited out, skip lunch. The birthday meal lasted for thirteen courses. A meal can be an event in itself.

Hospitality and social obligation knows no bounds here. Tonight was the event of my niece's 100^th day celebrations, combined with my nephew's early 2^nd birthday party. It was held in the Regal Ballroom of an opulent hotel in Tin Hau. The walls and ceilings were mirrored and three giant chandeliers sparkled above the proceedings. If the venue glittered any more, it would make Joan Collins blush.

A bouncy castle and ball pool sat in the corner to entertain the children as the one hundred or so guests tucked into the generous buffet and mingled. The names of my little relatives were emblazoned in gold lettering against the red backdrop of the stage, wishing them a Happy 100^th Day and a Happy Birthday.

Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, parents and children drifted from group to group, catching up with each other's lives and the latest gossip as the ever – present Mah Jong tables were set up in the corner for those who fancied a play. The flashes of cameras bounced off the shiny surfaces as surely every second was captured somehow in a digital frame.

It seems not only to be about love and respect and obligation, but to be seen to be doing the right thing too, and preserving the moment somehow. It is as though there's a collective conciousness about the fleeting nature of life so deeply ingrained in custom that it's never been forgotten – or gone uncelebrated.

And that's no bad thing, surely?